Joy in the Journey

I happened upon a blog today: Dare to Dream

I glanced through the stories.

Inspiring people, a lot of them mothers, with inspiring stories.

One in particular caught my attention.

I actually recognized her maiden name,

read her introduction and knew who she was.

In my freshman year of college there was a girl on my floor that I really admired.  She was upbeat and fun and I enjoyed spending time with her.  She was one of 10 children, and during our freshman year her mother died of cancer.  It was hard to watch her go through this hard thing.  It truly left a lasting impression on me.

The first ward I was in after being married I heard a girl telling a story about her mom passing away while she was serving a mission.  I made the connection (they looked a lot alike) with my freshman friend...they were sisters.

So today I read Rebecca's (the girl from my ward) story about a certain journal entry her mother had made and how it had influenced her life.  

There were some things I took away from it:

A personal journal.  Our public posts are not usually our hearts.  They don't tell the whole story or let the reader really know the person, but a personal journal provides insights into how we deal with the struggles we are faced with and can provide teaching to those that come after us in a way others couldn't.

How do my children see me?  What will they remember?

It made me think about the kind of mom I always wanted to be and why.  Am I being that kind of mom?  Do my kids see me laugh enough?  Will they remember the fun times we had?  Do we have enough fun time?

Am I living the life I want to be living?

I loved what she said, "I don't exist to fit another person's mold, but to be true to my own self, to grow at my own pace."  I tend to compare my inadequacies with everyone else's best.  What a great reminder to look at my life and live it the way I want to remember it and not try to fit any one mold.  And it also reminded me that I only get to do this once.  I don't want to look back and regret having not done things, having not shown enough love, or not created enough fun memories for my children to look back on with fondness.

Sometimes it is good to realize we won't be here forever (even 99 years isn't forever) and look at our lives with the idea of what do we want our families to remember about us.